THIS POST GETS A “FANBOYS BEWARE” WARNING.
TURN BACK NOW IF THAT APPLIES TO YOU.
Oh boy. We’re back to my absolute favorite anime ever. Gun Gale Online. (aka Crotch Shots Online!)
I really cannot stress how bored I was through all this. The episode starts out with Sinon taking down a monster all by herself to establish that she’s “awesome”. After she gets a new gun from finishing it off, the opening sequence starts, ends, then we come to a new scene. Here we find a group of guys talking about a hunting group they’re going to take down and dragging boring dialogue on and on and on and on…
But, we get another shot of Sinon’s boobs and crotch, so whatever, right? WRONG!
Side note – why is everyone besides the main and supporting characters unattractive? Because everyone is so willing to make their avatars look like middle aged men, right? Oh wait…
Answer: It’s obviously to make it so no other males besides Kirito has a chance at touching his harem. Plain and simple.
So now we’ve not only established that Sinon is “awesome”, but she’s also the “best sniper in GGO”. Why? Because if you haven’t caught on, Digital Jesus (aka Kirito)’s harem can ONLY be filled with the best. The top female players in both SAO and ALO, the FIRST player to tame a pokemon in SAO (I mean, “feathery dragon”), two female leaders of their clans in ALO, etc. Etc.
(The only female who wasn’t “the best” or “the first” at something would be Lisbeth. But since she has such a dry personality and fell for Kirito for no reason, she isn’t anything special.)
So you get 10 minutes into the episode and find that they’re just reenacting the ending minute from episode 1. Baawwwrrrinnngggg. And judging from the fact that pretty much everyone in Sinon’s group is either incompetent or spineless, she’s obviously going to be the last one standing and take out the enemy. Yep. No surprise there.
And what was up with the people in her group running out with no cover whatsoever? Aren’t they suppose to be pros? I suck at shooters and even I know not to charge like an idiot. But, screw it.
And about that stupid cowboy-looking guy. Practically everything he did or said made me react with “wtf?”. Especially when he started freaking out over how they were going to lose and nearly wet his pants. Really? It’s a game. Chill. Out. Sinon snaps some sense into him, proving that she isn’t a total idiot. Way to go. But you’re still a hunk of eye candy.
So the “fight” drags on for an eternity to show how awesome Sinon is. Because when she inevitably falls in love with Kirito, it’ll just make him look that much more desirable.
Really? Is that suppose to make her enemy look like a “badass” or something? It’s a game. Maybe he’s having fun? I didn’t know video games were such serious business. If I ever play COD with my friends I’ll be sure to smile a lot so they know not to mess with me.
Anyways. Sinon climbs a tower then jumps off all “epically” while this guy shoots at her. (By the way, he laughs like a stoned Arnold Schwarzenegger.)
After she inevitably defeats him, you can safely come to the conclusion that everyone in GGO besides Sinon (and eventually Kirito) SHOOT LIKE STORMTROOPERS. So much for being pros.
The scene changes to Kirito and his harem in ALO where Leefa, Silica, and Lisbeth are taking down a plant monster. And where there’s plant monsters, you know what that means! That’s right!!
Tentacle rape!!
*repeatedly slams head against a wall*
I’m sick of your sh*t, Kawahara. But at least he isn’t giving any failed philosophy speeches like in the first episode. (“The difference is the amount of information!” *repeatedly slams head against a wall*)
Blah, blah, the girls beat the monster and in the distance they see Kirito and Asuna. And of COURSE they complain about how “lovey-dovey” they’re being. (lol they were just sitting next to each other). It’s pathetic how every conversation they have inevitably ends up being about how jealous they are of Asuna and Kirito.
In their worlds, Kirito is the only male on the planet. Can they not just be happy for the couple’s superficial “relationship” and get their own boyfriends? FUUUUUU–
So the episode FINALLY ends and I find I have a concussion from slamming my head against the wall so many times.
“But Amp! Why watch something you don’t even like?!”
Because there is something about GGO that keeps me coming back every week. What is it exactly? Well,
It’s the fact it’s so laughably idiotic that I can’t stop watching! It’s like those awful TV shows for little kids that you only watch for the sheer enjoyment of how bad it is.
SAO and GGO are the epicenter of bad fanfics that you can’t stop laughing at.
In my first impressions of GGO I applauded it for not being as bad as SAO. But it seems that was as good as it got seeing as how it’s now officially on the same level.
And with that, I end this post.
The “Highlight of the Episode” award goes to…
Being so ridiculously easy to laugh at.
Join me next week for another laugh at this “anime.”
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